Your Care

Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning

Caregiving
Special Focus

Solutions

To Your Caregiving Situations

Throughout Your Caregiving Years

Channeling the changes

The new you intimidates those who loved the old you

By Denise M. Brown

It happens every time you see your friend, Sue. "My God," she says, "don't you ever eat? You look like a skeleton!"

   You don't look like a skeleton, but you do look great. Amazingly, you've taken steps toward a healthier lifestyle. You've seen the effects a lifetime of unhealthy eating, chain smoking and beer guzzling has had on your care recipient. You decide that's not for you--and lose 50 lbs. Your friend, Sue? Still carrying that extra pounds--and hating you for it.

   Encourage your friend to join you in your healthy lifestyle. Tell her how you did it, how you stayed focused, how you recovered when you slipped, what you learned that helped you keep off the weight. Invite her to join you on your walks. Let her know you love her, no matter what.

   And, if your friend refuses your offers or sabotages your efforts, then let her go. Ending a friendship doesn't have to be difficult or confrontational. It can simply end; you are no longer available for get-togethers, your phone calls to your friend taper off. If your friend asks for an explanation, you can simply say: I think we're at different points in our lives.

   Relationships can be like dance partners. Sometimes, we engage a dance partner for song after song. Sometimes, we engage them for one song. And, sometimes, we find it best to just dance away.

Index of Articles

Join Our Support Group

Ask Denise

Ask An Expert

The Caregiving Years:
1. I may help a relative soon.
2. I'm starting to help.
3. I am helping.
4. I am still helping!
5. My role is changing.
6. My caregiving has ended.

Three Issues of Caregiving: Free!

Your Opinion

Receive our free electronic newsletter, Spotlight on Caregiving.

To subscribe, send an e-mail to Julie with the message "Subscribe Spotlight".

You'll receive Spotlight in your Inbox on the 15th of every month.

Subscribe to Caregiving!, our monthly print publication, for only $19.95!

Meet one of 2002 Caregiver of the Year Award Winners!

Weekly Comforts for Caregivers, delivered to you via e-mail every Monday morning: 52 weeks for $15.

Order Now!