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Managing The Stress ~ Making The Decisions ~ Discovering The Meaning |
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Caregiving |
Solutions To Your Caregiving Situations Throughout Your Caregiving Years |
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Your Caregiving Depression Look for the Moments By Denise M. Brown When I worked as an admission director in nursing homes, my friends often said to me: How can you work in a nursing home? Isn't it depressing? Honestly, I never found work with the frail elderly depressing. I never saw the "ugliness" or "unpleasantness" of the illnesses and disabilities. I just saw a person living out his or her life. I think focusing on the person (no matter how cognitively impaired they may have been), rather than the illness, was critical. Everyone knows and understands the power of a smile. And, I think in our world, we forget that a smile is worth a million dollars. When a nursing home resident smiled at me, I felt like the most beautiful, luckiest girl in America. The residents loved me, regardless of how much money I made, where I bought my clothes, where I lived. In our dog-eat-dog world, I felt so much comfort in that small and critical pleasure in life. I often felt that my friends missed out on many blessings because they never felt how wonder it is to have 200 persons just love you--no questions asked. Your life may be full of bed pans, disposable briefs, soiled laundry, pureed meals, and noisy machines. But, your life is also full of what makes life good: Commitment, responsibility, family. A little over two years ago, I gave a presentation to a small group of family caregivers. I spoke about the reality of caregiving--the hard work, the depression, the guilt--but also talked about the moments of meaning that bless the experience. An attendee, caring for her mother, who had Alzheimer's disease and resided with her and her husband, questioned the possibility that any blessings could exist in the experience. So, I asked her about her day. She talked about getting her mother ready in the morning, helping her into the van that transported her to the adult day center, preparing a special dinner for her. Then, at 7 p.m., she helped her mother into bed. As her mother lay in bed, the family caregiver sat on the side of the bed, stroking her mother's cheek. Her mother always gently fell asleep. Wow, what a moment, I exclaimed! That's your blessing--what a wonderful moment you and your mother spend together every day. These are moments that we all have available to us each day. Only the lucky ones take advantage of them. Worth Knowing Emotional stress or loss of function can sometimes trigger depression, although it can also develop without a clear precipitant. Strength of character or previous accomplishments in life do not prevent depression. Depression is not a sign of weakness or a problem that can just be willed away. People who have a depressive disorder cannot just "snap out it". --Depression in Older Adults, A Guide for Patients and Families, The Expert Consensus Guideline Series, Expert Knowledge Systems L.L.C. and Comprehensive NeuroScience, Inc. Depression: A Whole Body Disorder The Losses that Weigh You Down A Caregiver’s (Good) Little Helper
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