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| You sit expectantly by the window in
your living room, watching for the blue van that brings your daughter
and her family for their visit. Although the holidays are hectic,
this is the part of the season you relish: The opportunity to see
those family members and friends that rarely drop by anymore. These
visits mean a great deal to you; for a few hours, you can be someone
other than a caregiver.
You feel good about how the day has started: You had little trouble
readying your husband for the visit. The home health aide arrived on
time to assist with bathing and dressing. You even had plenty of time
to get ready yourself. Your spouse keeps you company in the living
room, watching for the van from the wheelchair you've positioned next
to your chair. Yes, today you feel good.
Tonight, however, you feel terrible. The visit has turned into
nothing less than a nightmare. Your daughter was shocked to see her
father in a wheelchair, even though you told her that he needed one.
Then, she was upset at the cost of the home health aide, demanding to
know why you couldn't bathe him yourself. "You're home all day,
Mom," she said. "Why do you need someone to help out,
especially if you've got the time?"
Speechless that your daughter, who has always been so supportive and
kind, could be so, well, mean-spirited, you've been unable to utter
one word in your defense. Now, as you sit on your bed, rewinding the
events of the day in your mind, you can feel your face getting redder
and redder. "How dare she," you think, "how dare she
imply that I'm not doing what's best for my husband!" Now, too
angry to sleep, you pace your bedroom floor. "What a way to
spend the holidays," you sigh.
Ho, Ho, Ho. It's the holidays, a time that should be for loving family
traditions but often becomes the catalyst for tension-filled family
rifts. In this special section,
we'll offer practical tips to help survive the holidays, including
those unpleasant run-ins with sometimes well-meaning, but always out-spoken, family
members. We'll talk about ways you can prevent these emotionally-exhausting
encounters, as well as ways to deal with situations when you get side-swiped.
And, we'll offer tips on handling the Holiday MeltDown. So, during the holiday season, you'll have a chance to rest your
caregiving hat--even if it's for a few minutes.
|
